#mondaymotivation 🤔 Growing up overweight was never easy, but it was enjoyable. Days devouring @mcdonalds, @tacobell, Churches Chicken, @pizzahut.
@twix, @butterfinger, @kitkat, @snickers you name it were typical and enjoyable. I remember in , 5th grade I was introduced to @quaker Chewy bars and I once said “Where’s my Chewy!” And it stuck with my throughout 5th grade. However, it lead to being unable to change in the locker room, wearing a T-shirt to the pool, wearing black because supposedly that makes you look “skinnier.” I think the worst thing I’ve ever heard though, was being a freshman in high school and finally having he confidence to ask this girl out, only to hear “eww, you’re fat.” That winter break I think I started to starve myself, ran, bike, and only did bench probably 7 days a week 2-3 times a day. I stopped cutting my hair, because I thought it would cover those chubby cheeks my family loves to squeeze. I eventually joined XC because running became something I was good at and for the longest time my weight and body image never crossed my mind. But that fear of going back to what I once was creeped eventually caught up with me. Starting @crossfit but particularly Olympic weightlifting, where weight classes became a thing for me was when I knew I was struggling again. I had all the tendencies of someone with an eating disorder: weighing food to the tee, restricting calories, eliminating certain foods, not going to family or friend events because I had to exercise or didn’t want to eat, episodes of binge eating, overtraining, but never did I self-induced vomit or took laxatives. I always blamed it on dieting and training, but I knew I really knew that was only part of it. That probably lasted from 2013-2017. I’m better now thanks to being able to admit I have a problem (body dysmorphia), friends, family, hobbies, and trusting the process. The takeaway message is you’re never alone, keep fighting, determine what is meaningful in life, social media is helpful but not always the solution, modify & adapt (that’s that OT part of me speaking), do what puts a 😊 on that face.
📸: @danray_photo (thank you friend for helping)